Post #100 or the one where I weigh the same as post #6

Here I am, my 100th post....I was somewhat of a success story, at least for a little while. I started this blog at around 185 lbs, on June 6 of 2010 I was 183.2 lbs, I managed in 6 months or so to lose almost 20 lbs weighing in at the lowest weight I had seen since high school on Halloween of 2010 164.4 and here I am almost two years later and weighing in today at 183.2 lbs. What an ridiculously futile cycle this seems like. I don't want to ride this weight loss roller coaster again. I want to go down and stay down. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I also no their is no magic pill. There's just me and my willpower and my drive to do this. I know its in me somewhere, I'm just having trouble finding it.

Sick and tired of starting over

I don't know why I do this over and over. I lose weight and then go back to my bad habits and gain it all back if not more. I need motivation seriously. I know my health should be motivation enough but some how it is not. I need to hold my self accountable for how I treat my body and I haven't been doing so. This needs to stop now and for good. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to start taking care of me. I'm not getting any younger. I need to do this now.